IFS
What is IFS?
IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a therapy approach that recognizes that there are many parts to a person. Some parts have been burdened by painful experiences and may then work to protect the person from pain. For example, if you were raised in a chaotic environment, part of you may become a people pleaser to protect you from further chaos. These are survival responses. Sometimes these parts are often in conflict with one another and a person’s Self — the confident, compassionate person at the core of every individual. IFS helps heal the wounded parts and restore balance with the Self.
IFS Approach
I will help you identify and understand the parts that make up your internal system. Then, as you identify your parts, you learn to work with them. I help you acknowledge your feelings and support your emotions.
When people don’t feel heard or acknowledged, they might use behaviors that react to a situation but are not effective. Ultimately, you will find alternate ways to understand the conflicts and have the tools to allow you to move forward with IFS. This approach may seem woo-woo out there because you will be talking to your parts, likely for the first time. This can be uncomfortable at first. IFS therapy helps to form healthy relationships with your different parts and learn to trust yourself.
These parts show up in three common roles:
- Exiles have been shamed, dismissed, abused, or neglected in childhood. They are so named because a great deal of internal energy is spent to keep difficult memories and emotions hidden from conscious awareness.
- Managers are proactive protectors who keep you focused on learning, functioning, being prepared, and stable. They work to prevent exiles from being triggered and flooding the system with emotion. They try to manage life to keep emotional pain out of consciousness.
- Firefighters are reactive protectors. When the emotions of exiles break through, firefighters will go to extremes to distract from the emotional pain, including bingeing, purging, addiction, numbing, dissociating, cutting, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
Through understanding these roles, IFS helps you connect with your core Self, the genuine, compassionate you. The Self can identify, observe, welcome, and help these parts work better together.
Let’s start your journey with IFS
Imagine starting to feel better today. This is possible. Let’s talk!
“My girlfriend had been seeing Doreen for a while when I was invited to join in on a few therapy sessions. As a result, I have experienced positive results in our relationship. We now communicate better and have implemented a more cohesive structure in our day-to-day routines.”– R.C.
“As an eldest daughter, oldest sister, wife and mother I found myself always feeling overwhelmed and very much like an imposter in all of those roles. I came to therapy to learn how to find internal validation as chasing the external still hasn’t worked in my four decades of life. While researching about what to expect in therapy and what I might be able to gain from taking the leap to let a complete stranger hear my deepest feelings I stumbled into Internal Family Systems. I decided that finding a therapist with IFS in his or her repertoire was an important qualification in where I hoped my healing journey could take me. With her help I have learned the origins of so many chronic missteps I have taken in relationships with siblings, friends, family & others, and have made real progress in making amends with those I have wronged. I’ve also learned to set healthy boundaries for myself with those who have hurt me. Learning where my trauma lies in childhood through adulthood and coming to terms with those, has been breathtaking. Understanding that the validation I have always yearned for wasn’t going to come from certain individuals gave me the peace to stop seeking it and move forward. I feel lighter and am grateful that my husband and young children reap the benefits of the work I am doing with Doreen. They are getting a spouse and mom that is happier and truly present in their lives.” – G.S.